UnitedNorge – En Manchester United-blogg

Et knippe vitser som i alle fall undertegnede ikke hadde hørt før, perfekt til oppladningen mot Bolton. Legg gjerne til dine egne!

The Fire brigade phones Roberto Mancini in the early hours of Sunday morning…
“Mr Mancini sir, The city of Manchester Stadium is on fire!”
“The cups man! Save the cups!” cries Mancini.
“Uh, the fire hasn’t spread to the canteen yet, sir.”

Ben Foster is so distraught after his latest blunder that he decides to end it all. He walks straight out of Old Trafford and throws himself down in front of a number 9 bus. Luckily, it passes under him.

Rafa Benitez takes the players out to a fancy restaurant for a team building exercise because morale was at an all time low. He calls the waiter over and starts order the food. He goes through the starters no problem.
“What would Sir like for the main course?” the waiter asks Benitez.
“I’ll have the Beef” replied Benitez.
“OK Sir, what about your vegetables?” the waiter added.
“They can have the same!”, said Benitez.

Rafa Benitez was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. He stopped and asked, “Can you manage dear?” to which the old lady replied, “no way you got yourself into this mess, don’t ask me to sort it out!”

A Bolton fan walks into a pub with his dog just as the football scores come on the TV. The announcer says that Bolton have lost 3-0 and the dog immediately rolls over on its back, sticks its paws in the air and plays dead. “That’s amazing,” says the barman. “What does he do when they win?” The Bolton Fan scratches his head for a couple of minutes and finally replies: “I dunno…. I’ve only had the dog for eight months.”