• Liverpool vinner ligaen, og Torres blir toppscorer i Premier League
• United havner utenfor topp to
• West Ham blir det mest underholdene laget i Premier League
• Tottenham havner midt på tabellen
• John Terry blir Player of the Season
• Roy Keane slutter i Ipswich
• Og Pompey;  ’Portsmouth will be absolutely fine. I know the guy who is buying them, Sulaiman Al-Fahim, and he is not only a very serious businessman, he’s also stinking rich. So relax, Pompey fans.’

Thieves broke into city of Manchester Stadium last night and stole something from every room except the canteen. That’s why they left without any cups.

How many city players does it take to win a trophy? Only 11 – but you have to go back 34 years to find them.

How many city players does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they’re happy to live in Man United’s shadow.

4 surgeons are taking a tea break.
1st surgeon says “Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”
2nd surgeon says “Nope, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”
3rd surgeon says “Well you should try electricians. Everything inside them is colour coded.”
4th surgeon says “I prefer city fans. They’re heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arses are interchangeable.”

A bloke goes into Manchester Airport and manages to eventually get into the departure lounge where his flight home is being called. All around him there are overturned tables, smashed windows, computer terminals broken, upturned chairs and crowd control barriers lying on the floor.
“Christ, what’s happened here?” he asks one of the ground crew.
“Oh yeah…”, he replies “Absolutely hopeless …. we had the city players in here this morning filming the new Nike ad”.

“I was having a drink with friends and when I showed them my knee we realised it looked like Rooney, so our lass took a photo. Everyone was laughing about it. It beggared belief – he is a legend and I never thought he would appear on my knee. All his facial features were there, you could see his small ears, nose and he even had a beard like the real Rooney.”

Rigby, som er United-fan, håper det er et tegn på en 19. ligatittel og fjerde på rad, i tillegg til at en godt VM for England.

“I hoped it might make me play better too but it hasn’t. I don’t play competitively, but I do like to have a kick around with the kids. I don’t mind an injury to my knee, as long as Rooney doesn’t get injured we should be okay.”

The Fire brigade phones Roberto Mancini in the early hours of Sunday morning…
“Mr Mancini sir, The city of Manchester Stadium is on fire!”
“The cups man! Save the cups!” cries Mancini.
“Uh, the fire hasn’t spread to the canteen yet, sir.”

Ben Foster is so distraught after his latest blunder that he decides to end it all. He walks straight out of Old Trafford and throws himself down in front of a number 9 bus. Luckily, it passes under him.

Rafa Benitez takes the players out to a fancy restaurant for a team building exercise because morale was at an all time low. He calls the waiter over and starts order the food. He goes through the starters no problem.
“What would Sir like for the main course?” the waiter asks Benitez.
“I’ll have the Beef” replied Benitez.
“OK Sir, what about your vegetables?” the waiter added.
“They can have the same!”, said Benitez.

Rafa Benitez was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. He stopped and asked, “Can you manage dear?” to which the old lady replied, “no way you got yourself into this mess, don’t ask me to sort it out!”

A Bolton fan walks into a pub with his dog just as the football scores come on the TV. The announcer says that Bolton have lost 3-0 and the dog immediately rolls over on its back, sticks its paws in the air and plays dead. “That’s amazing,” says the barman. “What does he do when they win?” The Bolton Fan scratches his head for a couple of minutes and finally replies: “I dunno…. I’ve only had the dog for eight months.”

Mr. Chelsea himself. I egen person. “Captain”. “Leader”. “Legend”. Cry baby. Hehe. Morsomme disse Chelsea-folka.

I alle fall i følge RedCafe (som ikke på noe måte kan regnes som en troverdig kilde (?)).

This has come from someone I know who works for the Daily Mail and has just let loose a story which he GUARANTEES (ALLEGEDLY) is going to be on the front page of all newspapers tomorrow:

John Terry has ALLEGEDLY been sh*gging Wayne Bridges wife!! He ALLEGEDLY got her pregnant and she had an abortion!!! Bridge ALLEGEDLY found out and he is refusing to play for England!!!

Vær i alle fall sikker på at det kommer til å ljome noen nye sanger fra tribunen rundt dette.

Tihi.

Det er bare å gjenta ordene til Sir Alex; “A small club with a small mentality.”